Excuuuuuuuuuse me?

OK, when the Iron Kahuna's foot doctor told him it would be 4-6 weeks before his feet recovered from surgery, that didn't seem like too long a time.

Yesterday, he visited the doc three days after surgery to remove Morton's Neuroma from both feet. No infections and the healing looked to be on pace. So the Kahuna asked, "During my recovery, do I put each much pressure on my feet as they can handle?"

The doc looked at the Kahuna as if he were crazy.

"No," he said patiently. "Four to six weeks is the amount of time you need to be off your feet."

WTF?

The Kahuna is now thinking he had a hearing problem when the recovery was initially detailed. He had imagined that after a week or so, he'd be starting to walk, slowly nursing his feet back to normal. But the doc was saying something quite different: stay off your feet for at least four weeks.

Today, Mrs. Kahuna rented her husband a wheelchair, which his kids quickly commandeered. For the next four weeks or so, the Kahuna will make his way around town (and work) in an effing wheelchair! Not the biggest sacrifice, but more than he had expected. This will be an interesting month.

Today, he already had a breakdown. He couldn't stand lying (or is it laying?) in bed for another minute. He had had it with sitting on the couch, his feet propped up. He even started to freakin' watch "Oprah"! That was too much.

He hobbled out to his car, emptying his trunk of his various triathlon equipment to make room for his rented wheelchair. It was a surreal experience, but amounted to a tremendous workout in his depleted state.

Maybe tomorrow he'll wheel himself out to the garage to lift weights.